The First Marriage

The first marriage was done at a bedside, knees bent, head bowed, hands folded. The vow's were made "Jesus, forgive me, enter my heart". But where they fully understood? Unfortunately an adulterous relationship within the marriage began, not with another individual but with self. Age 12 and the vows and marriage were barley a memory, fully giving into the act of idolatry. The image played mind games and hand games. Unknowingly. Age to age, past to past, time went so fast, until STOP.
"Be my child" the vows were renewed at the words of "Okay". So all was dropped and made whole again, but yet the adultery continued, now knowing the wrong, knowing that this idolatry was braking the very marriage, life was built on. STOP. STOP. STOP. but yet it continued.
Silence became a good friend, the conversations of hush and shush, laughing at jokes, but yet knowing they were about you, behind it all. These vows once to precious were so hard to keep. She would say "Leave, leave and we will run away each night" truthfully sometimes morning.
Year after year, age after age, the act was upon each page. UNTIL STOP. Put down the phone, put down the video, put down the hand and read. Read.
The Spirit filled it, began to move like the days of old where the men and women spoke of a second coming, foretold. Age by age the sin was wiped away, but yet remnants still stay, a look, a glance. It still is dishonoring that vow.
The ring is shaped in a cross, the vow is told each moment, each breath, each day. This is my story, this is the truth, am I ashamed of the adultery and idolatry, sure, but without the act I could not stand here today and say, "your not alone, its okay", So lets work on it together, lets get back to the vows, recommit and try to quit. This is my story, this is who I am. But who He is, that is greater, that consumes me, and hopefully as we work together, whether it be in person, or prayer, or by letter, it would become your entirety as well. 
The flowers are made, the engagement has happened, He waits at the alter...