Too Ashamed or Scared to Tell

Its the feeling of being trapped. That's what it feels like, the fact that you see the key to the lock, you have it in your hand, but knowingly you stay. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like you that's making you stay. That something else, someone else is controlling everything you do in that moment. and you sit there watching, helpless… after, after you realize that you have locked yourself back in the cage, back to what you hate. You feel alone in the cage, oh so alone, like no one else wants to be there, like no else understands, like everyone will judge you and think you are so stupid and so disgusting for staying their. You
feel dirty. You feel like you will never get out, soon you feel like you don’t deserve to leave the cage, that you should just belong there… that the outside doesn’t want you, that's why you stay. That’s why you can’t and won’t leave.
This is what it means to have a porn addiction.

Why is it such a taboo to talk about this struggle this issue? Why can people openly talk about eating disorders and drug addictions openly, but the minute you bring up this addiction, this struggle, everyone runs and hides. This is a topic the church is afraid to address. They are too busy pointing fingers at homosexuals and worried that Trudeau is the Antichrist to worry about the fact that the majority of people in the congregation have some sort of porn problem.
However we hide behind our ties and shirts and do not admit this issue, because it is “To personal” or “to sensitive” we are worried about everyone judging us. And if someone does ever say anything it is responded by shaking heads and shunning looks… but we will clap and cheer when someone comes up with a drug problem or an eating problem. I am not saying these are not real issues as well, if you are taking that from this you are completely missing the point. I am saying that the issue of porn addiction is an issue that needs to be dealt with and addressed regularly like anything else in the church today.
As a male Christian in this world I know how hard it is to a) try their best not to give in to the on coming avalanche of porn introducing possibilities and b) to come before my brothers and sister in Christ and admit this problem.
Now some of you who read this may be shaking your heads already, however hear me out. I am saying that this problem needs to be changed, to the point where it is not a regular problem that is shoved under the bed by so many in our church, (male and female a like). I am saying this as someone who has struggled for years with this issue and only recently has begun to keep it under control and before God.
I also say these things to tell those who are reading this out their that my friend, my brother, my sister, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Those are lies! Lies that have been fed to you until they become your truth, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Not just spiritually (because yes God is there with you) but also physically. Thousands of your brothers and sisters in Christ right now are going through the same thing. So I am here for you, I may not know you but I am praying for you, and I am here. I know how hard it is, I know those long nights you lay there battling the urge, and those thoughts of hatred towards yourself, and that voice that isolates you, making you think that “No one will ever understand”.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE, the lights have been turned on and so many are with you in the cage. So Brothers and Sisters, whether you yourself struggle with this issue, or know someone, let us bring this forward, let us make it so we can feel comfortable to come forward in a church, a small group, a youth group or just some good friends and say “I am addicted to porn, and I need help”. Does this struggle make you any less of a Christian? Not at all! Unfortunately we as humans have the tendency to make sins “stronger” then others…. but God only sees sin, so whether it’s that you struggle with homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, sex, lying, stealing, gossiping, or even porn… you are all sinful, but you are all also children of God!
So as one people under a merciful, a loving, but yet strong God, let us come and work together to seek Him! No matter the issue, the struggle, lie, or pain we have, carry or believe ourselves to be. Let the church truly be the house of God where everyone can come and confess to one another, whether it is this thing or that. Stop arguing over which denomination is right or wrong, stop posting on our news feed about how liberals are either the devil or the second coming! Open your eyes and see the issues infant of you, the issues that sit right in our very congregations, and open your eyes, ears, hearts and minds to them, letting God’s Holy Spirit work through in and with you.
Let us be the true Catholic (Universal) Church, whether universal in physicality, racially, spiritually, or sinfully. Let us not be afraid, but let us be joyful, hopeful, and free in Him.